(I have a special guest post for you today from my wonderful husband of almost 23 years, Jason, on the subject of “Why Your Husband Needs Your Prayers.” Be sure to click on the link at the bottom to download your free printable prayer sheet.)
From A Man’s Heart: Why Your Husband Needs Your Prayers
by Jason Gratehouse
As a man, husband, and father, I can tell you that we greatly need and sincerely desire the prayers of our wives. In fact, it’s refreshing, comforting, and even humbling to know that my wife cares enough to invest her time in praying for me in these areas.
As a woman, you may understand certain facts about your man, but you can never fully identify with him. Communication can close the gap and make the two of you one, but it never brings total identification. The internal workings of a man are as foreign to you as yours are to him. Men are designed and wired completely different than women, and this causes us to process life differently.
So, I would like to extend an invitation into the world of a man, our innermost feelings and the pressures we struggle with on a continual basis. Then hopefully you will understand why it is a great comfort to a husband to know that his wife is praying for him regularly.
You see, pressure often brings out the worst in us all. At times, there can be a tremendous amount of tension at home that often leads a husband into the erroneous belief that his wife doesn’t know or care about what he’s going through.
Man was created to rule and protect. This sense of dominion births unyielding competitiveness and the over-inflated ego to boot. But deep down on the inside, is a boy with a cape on.
It doesn’t matter if he’s wearing a three-piece suit as an executive or pushing a broom as a janitor. He is forever the knight-in-shining-armor with his sword and shield, fighting for the honor and love of the one he loves.
Even for those whose efforts to conquer life are met with failure, criticism, and estrangement, though he may be battle-hardened, he is still fighting for the one he loves. Though we may seem tough and unrelenting on the outside, we really are soft and “gooey” inside.
To a man, the approval, respect and devotion of his wife are worth fighting for. It’s what we cherish. Many women have cheapened it by calling it “ego stroking,” and I won’t deny it, but it’s much, much more. It’s life-giving. It’s passion producing.
So much anger and frustration in a man is actually an inward disappointment because he believes he doesn’t have your approval and respect. He wants – even needs – to be your hero. He wants to be you knight-in-shining-armor.
Because of man’s design, he faces a unique set of pressures on a daily basis. (Please don’t think I’m elevating our pressures over yours. We all experience them, but I can only speak from my world.) Let’s briefly look at some of the pressure we men face:
The pressure of provision. Providing and protecting are an integral part of our makeup. He feels the eyes of those he loves upon him for provision. It’s not just a fact, it’s how we feel. No amount of cultural conditioning can make it go away. In many, it may be suppressed, as seen in the all too common example of the lazy, jobless husband whose wife has to carry the load. His laziness is inexcusable, but don’t think for one moment he doesn’t feel it. It may be buried under the weight of self-limiting beliefs or hopelessness about the future, but it’s there.
The pressure of “every man’s battle.” The constant sexual tension produced by a revealing and exposed culture. It doesn’t matter how disciplined he is in averting his eyes and guarding his thoughts, Satan uses this as a constant point of temptation. The pressure is there.
Let’s not forget the daily pressure to compromise for the sake of advancement or the cumulative effect of unrealized expectations and unappreciated effort. Or the pressure to be a good man in a culture that has a diminished understanding of what ‘good’ truly is.
We live in a society that pokes fun at men. Commercials, movies, and TV shows make us appear clueless and thick, or assume that we “only have one thing on our minds.” (If we’re going to be condemned and marginalized, why ride in on a white horse? Of course, we brave it and continue on.)
Pressure does funny things to us. It often causes us to yield to harshness and insensitivity, or broods an unintentional neglect. I make no excuses for this. I offer only a heartfelt apology.
Lesser men run and hide. Others make a beeline for the exits, thinking the fire is out of control. Still, others succumb to a mild escapism as they retreat to their “cave.”
The rest of us keep fighting – enduring for the one we love. Every man wants to be his wife’s hero, but all too often, he doesn’t become the person he hoped he would. So, he lives with the internal emotional tension because of this gap that exists between who he is and who he wanted to be.
In light of this, please, please, please don’t ever stop praying for your husband. Praying the Word of God over him will help him become the man God intended him to be. He may not say it, but he strongly desires and desperately needs your prayers, your love, your approval. He can’t be all he was destined to be without you!
(Note from Alisha: Please click here to download your free “10 Prayers for Your Husband” printable.)
Jason Gratehouse has been in active ministry for more than twenty years, including serving in the position of Senior Pastor for almost twelve years. He is currently focusing exclusively on his teaching ministry as he travels internationally ministering in churches, Bible schools, and pastors’ conferences. Jason’s vision is to equip the church for ministry by helping every believer discover their God-given purpose and fulfill their destiny. He is the author of the book, The Irresistible Husband.
Alisha Gratehouse is an artist, art instructor, minister’s wife, and homeschooling mom of three. Her days are filled with creating, painting, writing, drinking lots of tea, laughing with (and at) her family, and spontaneously bursting forth into song. Alisha is the author of several books including, A Life That Flourishes.